Your To Do List

If you're a band performing live and you are actually good on your instruments, do solos...we love that - it's the whole point of seeing someone live

Having no tan looks better than having a crap fake tan and a crap fake tan is VERY common.

Don't wear flat-brimmed baseball caps aka lids. They look stupid, ESPECIALLY if you're white.

The more money you spend putting things on the outside of your car, the cheaper it will look.

Try meditating sometime, it's very relaxing and you'll feel good afterwards.

Take the stairs if it's less than four floors. Fatty.

If you're using a knife/axe/cutting implement follow my grandfather's rule: never put flesh before steel (ie push the blade away from body/hand/fingers)

Don't look at simplistic post-modern art and say "that's not art" or "I can't believe someone paid money for this! I could make this easily!". Instead, shut the fuck up.

If you're a band performing live, say your thanks and goodbyes BEFORE you play the last song so you can hit the last note and piss off, leaving the crowd gagging for more.

Don't pout in photos, it generally looks stupid, even if you are being ironic.

Listen to Miles Davis. Seriously.